My name is Jack I m a former soldier. At the times of the war in Iraqi I was one of those “lucky” soldiers who have been sent on mission to the war.  At entering the army, I have just reached 19. I was embedded with the U.S. Army's 4th Infantry Division that took a number of military responsibilities in the Iraqi. Before telling my personal story I would like to say that at those times I was rather romantic person, but along with that, the one who was always achieving my goals. My favourite dream was becoming a helicopter pilot – the only one dream that was killed at too young age to become a reality.

 Now there are few memories left from those days. It is so not because of my bad memory, but because of my unwillingness to remember things that really hurt.

Many people hate war for many things. For some people war resulted in being handicapped; for others war coincides with a strong moral stress that was difficult to recover from. What war did for me, and my dream was just terrible. War deprived me of my dream. In fact, even the slightest possibility to achieve my dream was devastated by war.

From the early childhood I always wanted to become a helicopter pilot. Even as a child, when asked about my future plans I often replied - A helicopter pilot. At one single moment the dream stopped to exist…The injury of the left eye brought my dream to the end. Fro a long time I was left simply devastated. It seems that some part of mine was left behind, somewhere in the desert. It seems that I did not know how to live any more. The part of me that had learned how to live in the past has disappeared. Now it was only present that have been left from the past. And that present was horrifying. There was nothing left besides the darkness in the eye and the pain in the heart.  

The major trouble was becoming more and more intolerable for me to live like this. Life seemed to loose its sense and beauty. Once I woke one night in the hospital and opened my eyes I immediately remembered who I was and why I was in the hospital. But the worst seemed to come later when I opened my eyes. At that moment it was very difficult for me to understand why I had been staying in the hospital, and what would be the outcome of my stay at that place.

The pain that had come with the knowledge was engulfing. As a result, I leaned over the side of the bed and threw up. A passing night nurse had heard the commotion had hurried to his aid. A terrible dream form my past seemed to come once again. I saw my past. I was less than a mile from home when he heard a car approaching from behind. Without turning around, I moved off the road into the grass along the shoulder, expecting the driver to go on and by. But when I realized that it was not just a common car with soldiers but the car with terrorists his instinct for survival kicked in. I turned in a motion so fluid that it started my enemies into hitting the brakes even harder. In one moment I seemed to stay still. The main reason for that was a gun that was focusing right into my heard. All of sudden, I felt a terrible pain in my left eye. At that very moment I imaged helicopter that was flying above my heard. I was simply devastated. I felt that from that point life would be different that in was during the previous times. Something was lost forever, and there was no chance to return my dream. And that dream was becoming a helicopter pilot.

Now things have changed…Jack in not 19 any more. I lost my dream of becoming a helicopter pilot but I am still alive and enjoy this life while being a helicopter pilot. I love my new job and prefer communication to staying long hours at home. I still remember that cursed car, but now things look different…I not want to look in the past. I live at present and he enjoy that present. When asked about the events from the past…I prefer not to remember, but to forget.

Actually, I remember driving along in the tank, up that road…than me standing up outside through the open hatch at the top. Then was a fatal shoot that deprived me of my left eye. I still find it difficult to remember all these facts. I don't remember that. "

But I do remember that at that moment my life would never be like it was during the previous years. I saw my body floating below me and … a whiteness … I was falling down and was feeling a terrible pain. Moments later, I woke up and saw many people around me. All these people were the personnel of the hospital. "When I was approaching the place of final destination, I looked up and saw my friend Sam sitting besides me.

My situation was rather tragic. I was close to crying constantly repeating “a helicopter pilot…I would never be a Helicopter pilot.” But at that moment my friend took my arm and said “Ok…I wanted to become a cosmonaut but my heart proved to be too weak for me to achieve this goal…Now I am doctor who saves human lives and hears gratitude…It seems that my fate prepared a different mission for me.”

Then I looked up at Sam…What I have experienced at that moment was a very close look at my eyes…And then I have understood that there can be other senses in my life. And it is human life that is the most valuable thing at the universe.

After those conversations, my health started to stabilize. Then went a surgery. After the surgery I was removed to the other department of the hospital. Upon the time when everything was over, I have already moved to California, where my wife, son and a brother have been waiting for me. The gab that has been left after I had lost my left eye was replaced with a plastic rendition. Still, there is one thing that cannot be replaced by anything – it was my broken dream. Unfortunately there are no psychological surgeries that can replace that emptiness that was left. But my family and my best friend Sam helped me to recover. Now I feel very optimistic about my future, and was ready for new achievements.